So, my daughter, who will be 3 in August, is going to start at a pre-school-themed day-care 3 days a week.  She starts tomorrow, and I'm anxious, all the way down to my bones.  I've researched and visited and made hundreds of phone calls, trying to find care that is actual "care", when we can't afford $1000 per month (and up, in some places in the Bay).

More below the fold:

Tuesday night I half dozed in the ICU all night, waiting to see when I’d be able to hold him.  He had heart monitors, a blood pressure cuff, an IV in his foot, two in his hand, an arterial IV, a catheter and various other tubes and wires connecting him to the bed, so it was nearly impossible for them to hand him to me.  

Update below the Pictures

Pictures at the bottom

So, Monday night was awful.  I barely slept, Rory kept waking up, Pablo tossed and turned.  Seems like the only one of us who slept well was Julian, sweet oblivious boy.  One of our coping mechanisms was to write in Sharpie, on the back of his head: "Handle With Care."  It amused us on an otherwise awful night.  We woke up at 5 am to shower and make tea, packed up a change of clothes, some blankets and the camera, and bundled Julian out of the house for his 6am pre-operative anesthesia appointment.

Howdy all!  

Surgery is on the 22nd of this month.  So soon!

Well, we’ve had a wealth of health information recently on Julian.  First, on December 27th we (he and I) came down with thrush.  It is a horrible, fungal infection that passes from baby to mom and back, and it HURTS.  We were getting on a train when the symptoms became really obvious, but our wonderful pediatrician called in our prescriptions to the Redondo Beach pharmacy, so we were starting to heal up by New Years.

UPDATE at the bottom.

Thank you for all your comments and congratulations!  We got some bad news yesterday, though.

We took him to his 1st check up, worried about a tearduct infection and mild jaundice.  We instead wound up at Children's Hospital of Oakland, where 2 CAT scans and an Xray confirmed that Julian has Craniosynostosis.  Basically, it means: some or all of the sutures in the skull of an infant or child close too early, causing problems with normal brain and skull growth.

Here’s the condensed version of the birth story:

I went into labor on Tuesday, my water broke between midnight and 1am on Wednesday morning, and Pablo and I headed to the hospital once the contractions got a little heavier and harder.  We were admitted and did about 10 hours of hard and heavy back labor with our doula before it was determined that Julian was heavily posterior.  It looked like we were going to have another Csection.  Midwife came, did some (painful) magic, and he fixed his head and started to come down.  After a relatively short amount of pushing, he was born into his Papa’s arms at 6:38 pm on Wednesday, December 5th.  After Julian was set on my chest, Papa cut the cord and cuddling commenced.  He weighed 7lbs 4oz, was 19.5 inches long, and has a weird rhinocerous horn from where his poor posterior noggin got squished.

We all recovered well, and at 5pm on Thursday the surgeons finished tying my tubes.  I’m VERY sore, & having a hard time moving, but glad he’s here.  He’s such a cuddly love.

More below the fold

UPDATE at bottom of the diary.

Last week I was emailed an actual assignment by the president of Cal’s Student Parent group (and her predecessor, funnily enough) who figured I might have fun writing about my experience as a mom at a GIANT public university, so I’ve been working on that.  I also was told I should try some short fiction by another previous classmate.  Hm...things to think about.

So, second week and I’m already a day late.

::sigh::

Alright, the big "Mom" thing on my mind lately is a lack of support for parents.  Let me set the scenario for you:

I'm a graduate of UC Berkeley and I hold a BA in English.  My dream has always been to teach and write (novels, I hope one day), and my husband has always been very supportive of this idea.  However, as I was a full time student with first a full time work load, and then the duties of full time caregiver to my daughter, I've been somewhat lax in my writing.  To be honest, I've been hard-pressed in the last 3 years to keep my journal current, only sometimes managing an entry a month.

So, when the BiPM crisis arose over at Dkos, DH came up with a deal.  I'd write a diary once a week, and he'd agree to chip in for C and J.  He said he loved the idea of supporting a writer, especially a comedic one, in a grassroots fashion, but that it meant I'd have to start writing something...anything.  I'd rather do something useful (a call-to-action, writing a column for something local...)but he suggested I write a diary once a week here until I "re-discovered my voice."  Gotta love the guy.

So, any suggestions on topics, ideas, places to submit work, projects, etc, would be appreciated.  Until I figure that out,  y'all are getting personal mommy-themed stuff every Friday.

Some of you may remember how troubled I was about my living situation.  Dh, and 2-year-old DD and I were living in West Oakland, and during our 1.5 years in the area, there'd been over 50 or 60 shots fired not 200 yards from our home.  When we moved in there was relative peace and quiet, but after we'd been there a while, it got baaad.  The last straws were the 3 year old on the corner getting grazed during a drive-by (she's perfectly okay now) and one night that involved 20 to thirty (maybe more) shots fired into our neighborhood.

I'm afraid, now more than ever, that my son will be like my daughter as an infant.  I've already started telling DH that if he is, I'm selling him (or DD) on ebay.  (I actually posted a "for barter" ad on craigslist for DD when she was 4 months old...I wanted to trade her for some bubble bath and a good novel.  LOL).

For those of you who didn't know, until this Weds, I was a full-time student at Cal Berkeley, working on my English degree.  I transferred in from a community college, and spent 3 years finishing up my undergrad degree.  During those 3 years, I haven't had a single semester where I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding, so somehow it seems fitting that my graduation day fell on Mother's Day.